My blogs, seemingly for no one, really for me, have very little continuity nor do they seem to have purpose.
And yet, here I return, every long night, every torn thought spit onto this blog for the whole damn world to see, regardless of whether they choose to or not.
I work in retail now. No more galley open to the vast wilderness of Alaska. No more kayaking with bigger-than-life humpbacks. Just a bunch of lazy people and young people, selling used shit to old people and poor people. Maybe that's not very charitable, but that's how it feels today.
Today, the highlight of my day was... no wait, there wasn't a highlight. That was actually me, trying to think of one. I made no meaningful connection with a single person today. I ate hard candy and pasta noodles with fake butter on them.
I'm watching Battlestar Galactica and currently feeling more alive sitting in this comfy chair in sweats, alone, and hungry than I have all day long.
I miss my family. I cried today thinking about my little sister graduating high school and coming to Western this next year. I'm supposed to be her rolemodel and she looks at me as such and I spent all day fakely chatting and killing time...
waiting and waiting for 8:30 to roll around and then waiting and waiting for midnight to roll around and for what? For another episode of Battlestar Galactica, alone in a dark room and cold tea.
Dark rooms and cold tea are my two best friends.
