Eyeshine

Leave it to a windy day and a gloomy man to buff out the clouds over my eyes

Pretty's all you got.

When you can't be beautiful and you can't be perfect and you can't be flawless, what do you do?

When the appeal is out of reach from your clean, average fingers, where do they go to next?

You get hard, you get fast, and you get a passion. You get smart and fierce and you're fooled by no one. People will not love you for your face, they will fear you for your attitude and your speed.

And if that fails, you give up.

Restless

To live without dead time means to embody a great refusal, to find pleasure in struggle, to transform every moment of existence into a repudiation of the consumerist nightmare and an affirmation of revolutionary possibility. A semester, a year, a decade without Big Macs, Frappucinos and World of Warcraft but overflowing with midnight adventures of blackspotted billboards, guerrilla gardening and spectacular synchronized global memewar actions. Imagine if a huge number of us start living in this way, turning daily life itself into a form of resistance that re-enchants the city and reawakens the promise of a people’s insurrection. The way forward is through this kind of radical play.

-Adbusters

It's been a long time.

And I'm still incredibly overwhelmed with this summer.
Remember that To Do List I had? I really didn't need it and don't remember anything that was on it. I'm still having an amazing summer in spite of so much and because of so much more.
In the end I will say this.
Thanks Universe.

Foundations

There is something to be said for living on land.
Going to sleep and waking up every night and morning on a ground that won't stand still gets to be very old.
Grabbing for something that was once stable where you're from and realizing that it is falling with you is the most unpleasant experience you can imagine. Not the worst, certainly, but the most unpleasant, undoubtedly.
I miss knowing that the step I'm about to take will land on something. I miss being sure of the faces I will see everyday.
Believe it or not, I'm excited for an average work day with an average commute and average homework.

At least I am a third of the way done now... and making boatloads of money.

In which we explain the previous post!

"Think about the way other people work—lawyers, for example. They get up from their desk, they walk into the doorway of the office next door, and say, Hey, do you remember that Warthog v. Warthog case from two years ago? and they talk about it, and that’s work. They go out, meet clients and take depositions, they have meetings where they discuss strategies for pursuing a particular case—it’s a very social profession. I wonder how much of their time is actually spent dead alone, producing hard solitary thought for hours a day. That’s what writing is and in that way it’s very hard work and it absolutely requires all the conditions that make one a bore: You have to be alone a lot, you have to be rather sedentary, you have to be a creature of routine, you have to fetishize your solitude, and you have to become very, very selfish about your time."

I honestly do not know another career path best suited for myself.

Thanks, Tobias Wolff, for putting it so clearly for me.

Hermits

I remember back in high school when every problem disappeared if I sat in my room and read long enough book. Everything faded, nothing was permanent.
I have a whole stack of books on my desk, waiting to erase my dinghy world.
But things are different.
The world won't forget about me, no matter how long I try to forget about it.

Have I just been destined to live in seclusion since day one?