Inherent Wickedness

Holding onto the belief that humanity is inherently wicked prevents us from emerging into the next great chapter of human achievement.
I have a problem with Christianity that has very little to do with the existence of God. My problem is not with only Christianity, but with all major monotheistic religions to influence human history.
There are certain beliefs that have stemmed from the Great Belief that have permeated the psyche of western culture, beyond the faithful. Though these beliefs are actively practiced by the religious, they have also been adopted without awareness by many who live on this planet.
The doctrine that I believe to be greatly damaging is the concept of being born wicked and needing God for goodness. Holding onto the belief that humanity is inherently wicked prevents us from emerging into the next great chapter of human achievement.
Christianity and other popular religions of similar origin teach that the human heart is born bad. The blood of Jesus Christ (or simply the forgiveness of God) is needed to wash us clean, not once in our lives but constantly because we are incapable of ever having a pure heart. We are always wicked, no matter the individual.
This aspect of faith has been the fuel for religions expansion and also many other aspects of human life.
Now in my position, I can feel two things in my species around me. I feel the excitement of being on the cusp of a great enlightenment. We are on the verge of a change that will alter the course of human evolution.
The second thing I sense in my peers is constant self-doubt. No one has confidence in their lives, in themselves as people, nor in their place in the universe.
One of the major things holding us back from this potentially brilliant chapter of human history, I believe, is our common thought that we are inherently wicked.
I encourage everyone to imagine that they are not born evil, but instead good. Just telling oneself that one is truly good at the heart of it all is an uplifting experience in great ways.
The next step is to imagine a world in which everyone believed that themselves and everyone else are, by default, good. That is much more difficult, we have no grounding reference.
Thousands of years of human history have been forged in this belief. There are few times in which man did not think in such a way but it is easy to see that our history is not one without great sin and evil in huge amounts. The history of humanity and the ancient beliefs of inherent wickedness make it difficult to imagine a world of inherent goodness (or the belief of such), it takes much imagination.
The damage the doctrine has had on the psyche has been dealt for thousands of years of written history in such effective ways, it's impossible to comprehend. It could very well be a possible cause of the bloodier parts of history.
The change I call for does not necessitate a divorce from God. Instead, we much change the relationship we have with ourselves and then reevaluate our relationship with God.

Band Aid

Arming schools is putting a band-aid on cancer. It's not mad minds in a sane world, but sane minds in a mad world. Our economy is based on organizations making a profit off of our own poor self-esteem, poor self-image, self loathing, and sick needs and we've made our economy our most important abstract concept. This results in a non-stop attack on our psyches and selves every single day, at home or outside and when we falter in such an aggressive, awful world, we are medicated, we get locked up or kick out of the system. The sanest way to respond to our environment is to lose it, to go crazy in self defense.
Kids grow up being assaulted on all sides and it's only a natural response to lash out. We've isolated our kids and the communities that are available to them are exclusive, bigoted  misguided, and fail to respond to the real needs of my generation. They don't satisfy the questions that arise when God dies to us, we our parents divorce or when we lose our meaning in a vast and careless world. They call us sick, disturbed, delinquent and shove pills in our face. The problem isn't mental illness, the problem is the world that sprouts the "illness" that we all struggle though.
So don't point that fat finger at me. Look at yourselves. We are a product of your convenience-driven lifestyles and we will not be convenient. We will not take your dangerous and thoughtless medication. We will not go complacently. We will force you to look at what you've done to us, we will shove your nose in your own dog shit and pray you see what you've done.

Love, Evie

Just found this in my drafts.

First of all,

Candid Xander, if you still read these: I miss you and hope you're living a life that makes you happy. 

Secondly, 

I love being poor. I love that it's been less than a week since my last paycheck and I have absolutely none of it  now because I paid a bill and my monthly rent. 

Maybe you're thinking I'm saying this just to convince myself of this, but that is not the case. I genuinely love it. 

I have many desires. I want good food, I want drugs, alcohol, vacations, clothing, and so many other things and I work in an environment that displays and sells many of the things I want. 

So many times I've picked out a toaster that I would save up for, or a dress that would have been just cheap enough and sold it to a customer that same day.
Material desires be damned and I need to remember that, forever. 

Wisps

As we destroy our environment we destroy ourselves.
Our rootlessness, depression, and lack of purpose all stem from our disassociation from our natural world.
We think we are better, smarter, cooler, than the cycle of life but we never have been and we never will be. This illusion of separation is isolating and toxic to our psyche.
And soon, we won't have a cycle to return to. We will forever be lost in our own shallow, unfulfilling creations.

Making myself feel better about having to drop a class.

Sometimes I feel better when I think about what it means to really be human, to feel the way we do and think the way we do.
Because then, even in a sad and lonely life there is still beauty in the struggle and that is only because it's a struggle we alone have.
Only we can feel the void the way we do. Only we can appreciate our futility and mortality.
It's not that we are all special.
It's that there are some of us that are really special. There are the few gems that push us forward.
The move continues.
The march of life evolves on
and we are passed over like little river stones.
And that is to be a part of something, to belong.
And what an incredible thing to be a part of. What amazing things have been achieved by this continuation of life and we are so fortunate to witness and appreciate it's beauty.
We are the only things who can and only to us does it matter so.

I refer to us under the assumption I am not a brain in a vat.

But what if? Let's say this whole creation is a simulation to me.
What a rich story! This is the best epic that exists, this whole universe and what's beyond.
From the microlevel to the vastness of space, from the beginning of it all to the imminent end,
it's overwhelming.
It's the greatest story of all and I get to live it.

I've been struck, several times every day, by just how mortal we all are and the thought, "I'm going to one day cease to exist and everyone I know will one day do the same" crosses my mind. All the damn time. Sometimes it gets to where I'm thinking, "one day I'm going to die and it may be much sooner than I anticipate". Our lives are so fragile and when we're being truly honest with ourselves, we do NOT know what happens after that.
It could be that that's it. The mass that makes up our bodies will decompose and take on another form of life or matter. The chemical reactions in our minds, making up our personality and 'soul' will stop and 'we' will end.
It could be that we all are endowed with souls that answer for their actions in the physical world after the physical vessel shuts down. Some of us suffering for eternity, some of us lounging in a paradise all in accord with some divine, moral scale.
Truth is, we have no idea. We have absolutely NO proof of either one and, at least using science in it's strictest definition, we will never have scientific proof telling us one way or another. We can believe one or another based on testimony or logic, but never will we be 100% certain as we are today.

So essentially, there is a point in time in which everything we know ends for us and something else ENTIRELY foreign begins.

And yet, in spite of this completely inevitable mystery to our lives, we act as if we have an eternity to waste. We sit in front of televisions and stare at screens until our eyes dry up and shrivel out of our skulls. We satisfy our deep need for touch and companionship and clan with cheap, shallow experiences that leave us empty. We have replaced kinship with a screen thinking we need nothing else.

We drive cars.

Shallow husks, constantly drugged, entertained, and stimulated, we wonder at our rising depression and cancer.

But because that's the way it is for the majority of Western civilization, does not mean that's how it's going to be forever or that it has to be that way for me or you. We as individuals can break free from that system and lead real lives, fulfilling lives with the intent of truly enjoying that truly fleeting sentience we've been endowed with.

We can make our own movement, or own rebellion against this oppressive and sedating lifestyle. In doing so, we can hope to show everyone around us the benefits of stepping outside, adventuring, and truly meeting the people we encounter. We can show people what life is supposed to be, what love is supposed to feel like, and what real enjoyment we can get out of it.

I've been thinking about this a long time. It's been brewing inside, getting angry at times and screaming with elation at other times. Next post will be thoughts on steps to take to replace the processed entertainment we've been fed with genuine experience and fulfillment.

Which is better?
Retail drone with cancer, television shows and a little bit of sleep
OR
Homeless.

EDIT: Being homeless and having cancer are not mutually exclusive, I know. Question remains.